As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize