she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I understand Curling. That high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
