i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
