my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
