My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Randomize
