Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
