yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
