Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
