Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
