Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
