I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
