weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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