is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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