i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
