Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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