even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize