she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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