Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
one two three fourrrrnication!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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