I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The adults are the big ones right?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize