he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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