No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize