He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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