I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
