I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
