Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
