I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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