you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
