I just pynch a tree in the face
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
