Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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