Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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