How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize