You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
