Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
