he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
