Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize