I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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