Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
