Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
