I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
