remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
