if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
