is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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