mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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