I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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