Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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