Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
