roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
do herpes really smell.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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