thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
