We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
