...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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