So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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