get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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