he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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