so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize