i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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