i don't like sucking hair
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
