awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize