You can't special order awesome
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
