I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
