ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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