4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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